What to Tell Our Kids About Foreclosure: From the Heart
By Ellen Pilelsky
Many of you have been reading Attorney Roy Oppenheim’s “From the Trenches” series over the past year as he details his experiences as Florida foreclosure defense attorney. This post is the first for Oppenheim Law’s senior partner, Ellen Pilelsky, as she discusses Florida real estate and foreclosure, sharing her perspective “From the Heart.”
The Mortgage Bankers Association wants to know what folks in foreclosure should tell their kids.
I usually remain behind the blogging scenes, but this is my first attempt to share my views as a woman, mother and foreclosure defense attorney about how the world has changed and why we need to understand how to cope.
Last month John Courson, President of the Mortgage Bankers Association, said he had no idea what individuals were going to tell their children about why they stopped paying their mortgage. He suggested people who are in foreclosure are somehow immoral.
My response is simple:
- Never be judgmental towards others, for then you too will be judged: and
- Never, ever, throw stones when you yourself live in glass house.
The MBA arguably represents the very folks who brought us the current economic crisis. Perhaps worse than that, Mr. Courson has a less than stellar record himself of “doing the right thing,” as was well articulated by some of the subscribers to Oppenheim Law’s South Florida Law Blog.
The reality is we need to help our children understand that:
Wherever you move, or wherever we as a family move, we will always have a home. A house is just made of bricks and lumber, but the things that make it a home are the family and the memories we create together wherever we live.
If your kids are in middle school or older you can explain the economy is experiencing one of its biggest corrections in 80 years, something we all have never experienced in our lifetimes. Maybe some of their grandparents went through the Depression, but in fact, very few Americans truly can remember that experience personally
Thus, we are all going through something that they too will be able to tell their children about and even their grandchildren one day. There are lessons, like everything else, to learn from what has happened.
In the meantime let your children know you love them and that mistakes were made by many people: politicians, regulators, lobbyists, banks, investment banks, mortgage brokers, lawyers… and even us!
We all are not above reproach.
But in the end, the important thing is to learn from these mistakes as we all grow to be better people and create a better country.
From the Heart,
Ellen Pilelsky, Esq.